To sit here and tell you that one day you will be able to sufficiently take care of all your personal needs (maybe not wants) may hold no consolation to you if you are where I like to call " the valley of dry bones". The valley of dry bones is that desolate place where every opportunity seems to have evaporated. All sources are depleted and you are officially scot broke.
Being the primary breadwinner after leaving an abusive marriage is not fun. It is a huge slap in the face to every sacrifice that has been made on your part and every humiliation that you have had to experience. You may for the first time in your life have to become acquainted with welfare, food stamps, and the infamous DHS office. The betrayal of it all may cause you vomit. Why didn't I save the money, you might ask yourself... The truth is, now that you have to sit and look at the debt that has accrued next to your name, you may begin to laugh at such things as an "A1" credit rating, credit approval, and loan applications. I know I do. I literally laugh out loud at department stores when I am asked do I want to fill out an application for a credit card. My first inclination is to be rude and say "Hell naw!" But I fight the temptation.
I open my wallet to retrieve my driver's license, moving past my gold EBT card, finding this whole scenario quite amusing. I tell the cashier, "I already know what it's going to say", she frowns as if I said something inappropriate and shoots back, "You don't know, you may be approved". I laugh some more. You see, it's important to laugh. To dwell on what it really is.... That would make you cry.
Financially, women who leave or divorce their spouses see a significant drop in income. While men who separate or divorce, see an increase in their income. To me those are not financial woes, that is a financial WOAH! As in nobody told me, and NO I am not ready. Scenarios flash in your head that never once before intrigued your thoughts. You begin to understand and perhaps even sympathize with the gold digger, the prostitute, and the exotic dancer. You can see the use for a sugar daddy or some old man that can't get it up anymore but still enjoys the company of a beautiful younger woman. Not that YOU personally would do any of these things but you understand the background of these situations. You also understand the independent woman who vows to never rely on a man for anything, the wife who hides thousands of dollars from her spouse in a secret account, and the couple who does everything separately. The things you learn by trial and error..... Hm mm........
Stay tuned folks...
Posts
